Author: varjakBaby

Clinging, reaching out. Crying wolf when it's reasonable--all the fucking time. No one listens; you may free your ladder from the basement as due to rescue the light on the roof of the night sky. Favorite cheeses, in no particular order: Gouda, muenster, provolone, Havarti, Monterey Jack.

[Alternate Route] Issue 3

~ varjakBaby ~ Leave a comment

… is out! Find it (scroll down a little on the website) patreon.com/alternate_route. There’s a post announcing the release, and a PDF file titled issue 3 or something like that. Don’t worry–no computer viruses! We don’t use a PDF viewer or anything like that, we figure you can just open it and read at your leisure just as easily.

Thank you to our contributors. I’m a one-man army working this thing, so figuring out whether and how to give out payments to artists (first attempt everyone refused or didn’t respond!) is confusing an logistically complicated as hell. Eh.

So yeah! Enjoy our beautiful poets and photographers in [AR] issue 3!

Listen

~ varjakBaby ~ Leave a comment

I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t anxious
I have diagnosed anxiety disorder
Basically means I’m weird because I’m always worried
But live with The Man on your shoulders like I do and you’ll see
How fucked we are
How heavy the burden is
And how un-free the birds on the avenue are at heart
Cheat, steal, lie, pillage, burn, slash, hack
To defeat him
Feels good
To get by
Feels alright
Well,
Now
Go
And dance, sing, paint, hug, love, shake, kiss
To free yourself
And for a moment
Maybe
If you try hard enough
At this
And take it
Very
Very
Very
Fucking
Seriously
You might feel free
For one iota of a moment
You might be free
If you fight like madness clung at your doorstep was about to shoot you in the temple with your family at the stake
You might be free
You might
Love
Like you believed it
Instead of forgetting everything
You’d dream of nothing
And back
And journey to the castle above the shore
Wind through the clouds
Fall with the dew
And make angels in the snow in the grass
You might know how it feels
To be alive
If you fucking fight your ass off like nothing else mattered
And did it
Now
Now
Now
And I hope
You know
That I know
That I want you
To feel it
Victory
Love
Love
And then again
Love
Because what is life
Without it

Bestiaire des animaux à l’aise dans leur peaux / Claude Roy — Lire dit-elle

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Très oiseaux les oiseaux sont très sûrs d’être oiseaux L’écureuil sait très bien son métier d’écureuil Les chevaux dans leur peau de cheval sont chevaux Le lézard sait par cœur l’art de vivre en lézard La fourrure du chat tient le chat tout entier Le renard est renard tout le long de l’année Le poisson […]

Bestiaire des animaux à l’aise dans leur peaux / Claude Roy — Lire dit-elle

akathisia

~ varjakBaby ~ Leave a comment

My life

motion

turned to vibration

machinery

rotor drill kill quickling

faster and fast

into me

injected

the vibration

under my skin

i must

move

i must

walk

forever

and there

is

no rest

for me

for me

i must move

akathisia

Oh! Drama

~ varjakBaby ~ Leave a comment

Please decline politely

The invitation

To jump

Out my window

Into your own

And through the yard

Of grass

Ahead

Heavy

Winds

Blowing

Please

Decide for yourself

If you want to know someone

Like me

Or not

I will love the distance between us

Accurately

Or not

As you wish

Either way

It is a measure

Of affection

I hope for the best

Please don’t leave me alone

I sense your departure

You are not dead

You are not dying

Stop it

Shut it

Be quiet

You’re fine

I love you

Which With

~ varjakBaby ~ 2 Comments

that i am burning-hell harrow-out horrified that

something will happen to my father that my

mother knows nothing will, knowing him

and knowing which way to turn

when South is above

and below it has fallen

the nook, the cranny, the umbilical cord

all the sauce, saviors, saving me

saving me for the rest

which direction with knowing

Have a Nice One.

~ varjakBaby ~ Leave a comment

We got dis

I show you

Now

Be how

The first

Thought

Literally

The first one

…

And when they want to know why we left the woods for our homes on the hills they might’ve asked sooner or later

But fuck that

We went ANYWAY

FUCK

And the instruments were out of tune

But we didn’t care

And the colors were distorted

But we didn’t care

They say you can’t cure it with willpower

We’ll show them

We’ll be brighter than Einstein

Because he believed we were

Before he knew why

Why

Why

And how

How

How

The system

Is down

The system

Is Down

Don’t trust

Don’t go

Wellfare

Have a nice day, everyone…

~ varjakBaby ~ Leave a comment

I am finally reaching the point where my best is no longer enough

I am putting out full power

Wattage overdrive

And it sinks

It sinks

It sinks

And it hits the bottom

And the air evacuates my lungs

And I simply stare up at the sky

Through the surface

A surface I will never break

Ever

And the crowd

On land

Laughs

And laughs

And laughs

And I hear them laughing

And they are laughing at me

Drowning

At the bottom of the fucking ocean

And they laugh at me

Look at him he can’t breathe

What a loser

Fuck that guy

Fuck that guy

He can’t even breathe