Trying something new here, after some poetic advice from a friend.
Here we go:
The dove makes love to a
Frozen
Peanut
and…
The
peanut
is in your mind,
The
peanut
is in your mind.
Frozen in time, I
lust for
the dust of
the peanut
inscribed
With to-ta-li-ta-ri-an gi-bber-ish,
Whether if
I be
spoken or
I be
heard.
But no one wants to limit their
de-ci-sion
With a frank
a-ccu-sa-tion that
appalls
When the dust does
settle
When the leaves
do fall.
What was the advice my friend gave me? PAY ATTENTION TO RHYTHM AND RHYME! Also I just intend to beef up my editing of poems from now on instead of slapping them onto the blog or my family or wherever instantaneously.
Let me know if this piece works, and what could be better about it.
Thanks!
-varjak (baby)
