Division

You stand on the precipice of division and the number three becomes large

Larger, then

Then, smaller

And suddenly bibulous foam from below rises

Seething, this material seductively laments you

For you

And makes you feel…

Full of righteous fury

I forgot

But that doesn’t mean I don’t remember.

5 thoughts on “Division

  1. I like this one, especially the first and last lines, but I’d suggest some edits with metre in mind, e.g:

    You stand on the precipice of division

    As the number three becomes larger

    Larger, then

    Smaller;

    Sudden bibulous foam rises from

    Below.

    This seething material laments you;

    Laments for you

    And makes you feel…

    Full of righteous fury.

    I forgot

    But that doesn’t mean I don’t remember.

    That’s only a suggestion though, don’t take my opinion for anything other than just that: an opinion

  2. Thanks, I appreciate it. I think this has more nuance to it than I initially estimated, and I think your position on the poem is better. It’s more… well… metered, the way you put it.

    I’ll try to incorporate your suggestion into my writing.

    Thanks.

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